SlurpinOnADerp
New Member
So here's my situation. I was a heavy smoker for about 4 years - like two to three times a day for all those years. I quit smoking completely on October 1st of this year because I was feeling like it was consuming my life and that I was spending too much money on it and going nowhere in life. I had also been offered a job at a nice company and though I quit smoking about a week before the test I still ended up failing and the offer was rescinded.
I was pretty adamant and disciplined about not smoking all this time, and my goal still remains to find a better job before I start smoking again. I still haven't found that job, yet my new concern though is that if I get hired somewhere that randomly tests I may never be able to smoke again. Weed is a big part of my life and something I really enjoyed, but like I said I was beginning to feel that the negatives were outweighing the positives and I needed to stop to be clean and find a better job.
When I quit smoking I was making $9 an hour at my current job. However a few weeks after I quit I was promoted to a management position and I'm now making $12 so I think of this as a step forward and I would like a reward, however in that same time frame my company provided us with a new policy that says they may randomly drug test, but it's a small, private company in a state with no testing laws or regulations, and half of the employees use drugs and I don't think the company is going to spend the money to send us for testing unless something happens where a test is necessary. It's a sedentary job where I don't have to be alert and there is no danger. I was also not tested when I got the job or when I was promoted. Even if I do smoke, since I haven't for so long it will be out of my system in a few days to a week and a lot of my shifts fall on days where the office wouldn't even be around to test me.
Now that I've been promoted I'm going to stick with the job until at least February or March before I start looking for a new one so I can beef up my resume a bit. I'm not so concerned about being tested at my current job but it is a possibility though I want to believe it won't happen. Since I haven't smoked in two months I can pee clean and since I won't be getting a pre-employment test for a potential new job for at least three months I don't have to worry about being clean when the time comes around.
I really just want to smoke once or twice between now and then because I've been missing it so much, but I feel incredibly guilty every time I get the desire to even though I also really want to and I feel like I may erase all the time I've spent being sober though I haven't really noticed any qualitative difference in my mood or lifestyle since I quit. My parents also don't want me to smoke until I'm making more money and so I don't want to let them down but I'm an adult with my own apartment and I support myself financially. I'm just conflicted.
Is it okay to smoke once or twice between now and February? Should I wait until I have a new job to smoke? What if this new job requires random testing and I have to quit altogether forever? Could this be like a last hoorah type situation? Why do I feel so guilty about something that most people say isn't a big deal and that my chances of being tested are minute now at my current job? Am I just beating myself up and freaking out over nothing or should I hold out, or just completely give the idea of smoking up forever?
What should I do?
I was pretty adamant and disciplined about not smoking all this time, and my goal still remains to find a better job before I start smoking again. I still haven't found that job, yet my new concern though is that if I get hired somewhere that randomly tests I may never be able to smoke again. Weed is a big part of my life and something I really enjoyed, but like I said I was beginning to feel that the negatives were outweighing the positives and I needed to stop to be clean and find a better job.
When I quit smoking I was making $9 an hour at my current job. However a few weeks after I quit I was promoted to a management position and I'm now making $12 so I think of this as a step forward and I would like a reward, however in that same time frame my company provided us with a new policy that says they may randomly drug test, but it's a small, private company in a state with no testing laws or regulations, and half of the employees use drugs and I don't think the company is going to spend the money to send us for testing unless something happens where a test is necessary. It's a sedentary job where I don't have to be alert and there is no danger. I was also not tested when I got the job or when I was promoted. Even if I do smoke, since I haven't for so long it will be out of my system in a few days to a week and a lot of my shifts fall on days where the office wouldn't even be around to test me.
Now that I've been promoted I'm going to stick with the job until at least February or March before I start looking for a new one so I can beef up my resume a bit. I'm not so concerned about being tested at my current job but it is a possibility though I want to believe it won't happen. Since I haven't smoked in two months I can pee clean and since I won't be getting a pre-employment test for a potential new job for at least three months I don't have to worry about being clean when the time comes around.
I really just want to smoke once or twice between now and then because I've been missing it so much, but I feel incredibly guilty every time I get the desire to even though I also really want to and I feel like I may erase all the time I've spent being sober though I haven't really noticed any qualitative difference in my mood or lifestyle since I quit. My parents also don't want me to smoke until I'm making more money and so I don't want to let them down but I'm an adult with my own apartment and I support myself financially. I'm just conflicted.
Is it okay to smoke once or twice between now and February? Should I wait until I have a new job to smoke? What if this new job requires random testing and I have to quit altogether forever? Could this be like a last hoorah type situation? Why do I feel so guilty about something that most people say isn't a big deal and that my chances of being tested are minute now at my current job? Am I just beating myself up and freaking out over nothing or should I hold out, or just completely give the idea of smoking up forever?
What should I do?
